Do NOT try this at home

Y'know what happens when you prove to your family that you can be organized and clean and you can plan the crap out of everything???

...They think you're an organized planner who loves to clean.

(hashtag duh.
sadface emoticon.)

You see this, friends:

Isn't it just the most lovely thing you've ever seen!  It's a sweet, special place of pocket charts and calendars that tells every moment of our lives in one convenient little side of our fridge.  What day it is, what lunch choices we made, all of our activities before, during and after school, what we are having for dinner, when we poop, EVERYTHING!
It even has bible verses that we are memorizing!  How precious are the days of our lives!!!!

Hey.  DON'T DO THIS.
Don't be like me.  
Because here's the rub.  If you forget to switch the day from Monday to Tuesday... If you don't feel like planning your entire week of meals on Sunday night or decide to switch some dinners around... If you fall asleep and your husband comes home and dinner isn't cooking... YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPLODE.

I have created monsters.  It's my own stupid fault.  I've trained all of my people to think I have a plan all the time for every blessed moment of all the days.  And then when they ask, "what's for dinner?" and I say "I dunno." ....
Omiword.
Katie. bar. the door.
My husband paces in the kitchen anxiously.  My children lay on floor, weeping.  Even the dog rolls over and whines.

Basically, they all die.

You see, back in the day, when I was a stay-at-home mom, I decided to organize everything that would stand still long enough for me to label it.  We weren't perfect, but we had a routine.  Children thrive on routine, y'know.  (So do their daddies, apparently.)

But now... now I'm a working mom outside the home.  I'm on my feet all the livelong day.  And they HURT.  Everything hurts, you guys, I'm so old. And when I get to my house after a long day of serving grumpy people coffee and picking up people from school the only thing I care about is my bed.  Just get me to my bed.  "Quiet time, everyone to their rooms."  The end.  And maybe one of my children, whichever one is my favorite for the moment, might get a "how was your day" before I fall into a coma.  Maybe.  

And then I get up at 5:00pm and I hate everything.
Because now it's round two.

"What's for dinner, Babe?"
"How many pages of homework do I have to do, Mommy?"
"Do I have to make my bed AGAIN?"
"I don't wanna go to piano lessons, Mom!"
"Don't forget I have a rehearsal tonight, hon!"
"I already practiced piano this week, Mom, do I have to do it AGAIN?!"
"Seriously,  honey, when is dinner?"
"Leave your brother alone and go play outside."
"Do you want me to start dinner, honey?"
"Go outside and play so I can make dinner and your father won't starve to death!"
"Get in here and clean this up!"
"Dinner!"  "Finally!"  "Hey..."
"Stop messing around and eat!"
"Sit down!"
"Help your mother with the dishes."
"No, you cannot play on your iPod, help your mom!"
"Yes, you have to take a shower again."
"Get off your brother and go take a shower!"
"Did you practice your spelling words?"
"No, you cannot have a snack because you didn't finish your dinner."
"No, it's Abby's turn to pick the bedtime TV show."
"Well, why are you telling me this just now, it's almost bedtime!"
"You have to have WHAT ready for school tomorrow?!?!"
"Ok, I love you, sweetie.  Night night."
"It's too late for that now, we'll do it in the morning."
"Did you brush your teeth?"
"What are you out of your room?"
"Ugh, go to bed!"


Darn you, round two.

I used to live for round two.  Now it's going to be the thing that kills me.  Because sometimes I don't have a clue what's for dinner.  Sometimes I don't wanna be organized. Sometimes I don't want to have a plan!  Sometimes I wanna sit outside and just let my kids play in the back yard until the the sun goes down, then we eat whatever's easy & accessible and go to bed.  The end.  But I've trained them to need a plan!  

So... the solution?
Don't have a plan, moms.
Ever.
Just lay around reading books and let your kids do whatever they want and then they will grow up to be free-thinking, go-with-the-flow adults who can handle anything.

Yep.
No plan.
That's my new plan.
I predict it will last approx. 37 minutes.