Ok, so one of my favorite shows is Scrubs. It's so ridiculous. I love it and I mourned it's passing. There's this scene in an episode where the main character, JD, has a really stupid moment and he turns around, and imagines all his friends and fellow hospital staff members throwing him a "DUH!" party. It's a great scene, because it displays one of the millions of moments where JD's imagination runs away with him, and it completely hit home with me recently when I had my own "DUH!" party with Jesus...
So, a few weeks ago, Luke and I discovered something miraculous.
A treasure we thought only existed in Jane Austen novels and cheesy cell phone commercials. We discovered, get ready for this...
A Saturday with nothing on the schedule.
Yes! I too was skeptical of this enigma. Is it a figment of our imagination? Are our eyes playing a cruel trick? But it was real. And we danced for joy. I then declared the invention of the "Selah Saturday," thinking I was pretty witty by coming up with that title. For you see, Selah means "to pause; to be still and reflect." It's in the Bible, so it must be something we can and should do, so yay off we go! Doing nothing! We even put the word "Nothing" in our calendar for all day. Yay!!!
We were so excited for our Selah Saturday. We looked forward to it for the whole week. We talked about it every day. And when it arrived, it was like Christmas. We got up at a nice lazy time. We drank coffee and sat at the kitchen table, gazing into each other's eyes and chatting away the morning. After that we decided to go for a nice walk where we could stop on the way, sit, and just take in the world.
Oh, and if you believe that last part, you're my new best friend. And also, come to my purple house and ride my flying pony some time.
We forgot, in this lovely plan, about one small detail.
Um.... WE HAVE CHILDREN. Children that have absolutely no brain capacity to to imagine the beauty of the word "Quiet," much less Selah. The
And we were all like.... "Nothing."
Their little eyes looked at us as if we were speaking Klingon.
"Ummmmm, I don't understand what you just said."
[Side note before you call your friends to discuss how I hate my children. I love my children. And I love that they feel they can tell me anything and everything that's on their heart. I want to nurture that relationship I have with them now, while they are still young and sweet and think I'm smart and awesome, before they turn an age with the word "teen" at the end and they start to think I'm the stupidest person that ever lived. I love talking with them. I love our bedtime conversations about life and God and every other thing. And I love their energy and zeal for life. I love that they can get so excited over a tiny LEGO piece or a funny sound the dog makes.
Except when I don't. Because sometimes I just want them to stop. Just .... SHHH!!!]
Anywho, we learned that all members of Team Johnson love our open Selah space with nothing to do, it's just that our space varies in size. Mommy's Selah space tends to last until someone drags her out of it, kicking and screaming. Seriously, people, I'm one of those weird creatures who could sit still and watch a bug climb up a wall for an entire day and be completely content. Daddy's open Selah space can last for about....half a day. He gets up before dawn, has some Jesus time, goes running, checks the Faceplace and then around 10:00am he gets stir crazy and demands that Mommy barks out tasks for everyone, lest he die of boredom. Annnnnd then there are the little people. Their Selah space is about 10 minutes. Then they seek to steal, kill and destroy.
Needless to say, Selah Saturday was a super disappointing day for the Team. Luke sat down to read a book and I think he read the same page like twelve times, getting interrupted every seven seconds by a pouncing child and/or dog. I sat in the recliner with my coffee trying to relax and ponder life whilst intermittently barking out things like, "Omiword, people, you have like seventy jillion toys and a backyard. Go entertain yourselves or I will give you plenty to do!!" So then the inevitable happened, they got on my last nerve and they were
Later that day, I ranted to Jesus. I was so disappointed. I was feeling wronged and entitled to this space and peace. Why can't they just be still and realize what an amazing thing this is to have this space to just...be!
Insert "DUH!" party here.
You see, over the last few months, my prayers have pretty much all boiled down to this kind of crap:
Ugh, Jesus, I'm ready.
I'm so ready today to get out of here!
To leave all of the silliness behind and follow You anywhere.
And I'm so frustrated that You aren't leading me straight out of this ridiculousness we call the American Life and ushering in the New Great Adventure somewhere spectacular like Argentina or China or even (gasp!) California! I feel like the Israelites wandering in the desert, Jesus. Just this nothingness! It's just too much for me to bear! Anything but this, Jesus!!!
What's next, Jesus? What's the plan!?
And through this ridiculous Selah Saturday, Jesus finally answered me. Through my own words.
Daughter, Why can't YOU just be still and realize what an amazing thing this is to have this space to just...be.
You see, my sweet Max and Abby tried desperately to do this foreign task of "entertaining themselves," to no avail. And it's my fault. They are the typical 7 and 8-year-old American children whose Type-A mother and father have taught them that there is ALWAYS a plan. Always something to do. Somewhere to go. Some task to accomplish. Hello, we have a freaking chart on the fridge that has the schedule for every day, including dates, times, meal menus and color coded activities. DUH! No wonder they freaked out!! We have taught them to to exactly that! How can they embrace space when they haven't been taught to do so, and they have never seen it modeled?! This "no-plan" plan was destined to fail from the get-go. And now I see why.
I have to embrace this space. This time that Christ has given our sweet family to just....be. To stop spiritually fidgeting and just stop and figure things out and process life. To develop true Selah in our family it has to be a mindset, not just one Saturday on the calendar. Most importantly I have to stop pouting and fussing and remember that this space God has given Team Johnson is not a deviation from the plan. It's an essential part of the plan! It's not a punishment. It's a gift. It is not the Israelites wandering in the desert. It's the shade tree over Elijah. It's not purgatory. It's a piece of heaven.
Are you on a "Wilderness Journey?" Do you feel stuck? Might I humbly and gently suggest stepping back and truly asking Jesus if this is maybe a gift and not a punishment. Cause I happen to know sometimes it's hard to tell:)
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna have a cup of coffee and stare out the window for a while. At least until someone needs a snack.
Selah.
