Confession...I went back to bed after dropping the kids off at school on Wednesday.
There I said it.
And I wasn't sorry at all. It was a lovely little nap that I had been looking forward to ever since I woke up at 6:30... to make myself a nice cup of french press so I wouldn't kill anyone at 7:00. After I had nagged people to hurry up and finish their breakfasts, hurry up and get dressed, hurry up and brush their teeth, hurry up and find their shoes and stop chasing each other around the bathroom, I was very ready to have some chill time and a catnap to "restart" myself before work at 9:30.
Then I got a text.
"WHERE ARE YOU?!?!"
Omiword, I hate that text. It's that one that wakes you from complete subconscious bliss into full-blown, holy crap, terror in less than a second. I was supposed to be at work at 8:30 NOT 9:30.
Poop on a rubber dog!!!
So then I'm trying to get dressed, brush my teeth and find my Starbucks apron simultaneously. (Oh yeah, BTW, I'm a barista at Starbucks. Go ahead. Be jealous.)
I forgo breakfast because hello, I work at Starbucks, and I shove my supplements and a bottle of water into my purse to take on the way...because I love my co-workers and would never subject them to the version of Lyss without her Vitamin B and Acidophilus. Seriously. It's no bueno.
Walk out the door, slam it behind me.
Annnnnd remember my keys.
Now I'm locked out.
I HATE YOU APRIL 23RD, 2014!!!
Luckily I was able to break in through the garage pretty easily (....which is worrisome, but not right now!) And I was in my car peeling out of the driveway at 9:10. At 9:11 I'm at a stoplight, popping supplements and chugging water when I look over at the Mcdonald's nearby and saw this truck...
... and it was the last straw.
Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that this giant Egg McMuffin's goal, nor the creator of this ad, was not to throw me into a rage. In fact I'm sure that, under different circumstances - perhaps on vacation, traveling on the highway, seeing this ad whizzing by - it would even bring a smile to my face. It's kinda cute. Look, kids! The giant food is blowing away due to the rapid speed of the vehicle which carries it. How clever! But today, it was a sign of everything I hated at that moment.
Speed. Hurrying. Fast-paced urgency. Stress.
And I remembered where I was headed. I was about to go make fancy drinks for people from Johnson County at Starbucks in record time.
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
Stop the world. Just stop it right now, cause I want off. It's spinning too fast and I wanna barf.
Do you ever feel that way? I feel it pretty consistently, but especially this time of year. The weather is gorgeous, the back yard and my stack of books with an iced tea are beckoning... but the kids still have school. The children's choir is still in session. The dishes won't put themselves in the dishwasher. We can't wear that shirt for a third day in a row, people will talk. There are still things that "have to be done." (I put that in quotes because they really don't, y'know.)
I think I was born in the wrong era. Or the wrong country. Either that, or I should have been on Oceanic flight 815. Because I absolutely love the idea of living simply & slowly. I mean reeeeeeeally simply. We're talking log cabin, pioneer farming, horse and buggy, Laura Ingalls, John Locke simple. I love being outside, growing food in the dirt, campfires, fishing, hiking, just....being simple. Peaceful. Most of all, slow.
Ahhhhhhhhh, slow.
My favorite memories as a child were not the Christmases covered in toys, not the constant trips to the mall for another outfit (um, HELLO, my father was a minister and my mother was a school teacher.) It wasn't the plethora of activities that I was signed up for against my will, or even the constant myriad of church activities. Nope. My faves, the ones that come straight to my brain when people ask me to remember my childhood, are the "lazy," quiet times. Singing with my mom in the car at the top of our lungs to the Carpenters, Carol King, and of course James Taylor. Playing with my sister & my best friend, Holly, on a rainy Saturday. Sitting in our living room, listening to my mom play hymns on the piano while my dad tried to hide his tears of joy behind his newspaper. Fishing with my dad and my grampa for hours on Uncle George's farm, while grandma sat on the dock in her big floppy hat, dangling her feet in the water (pantyhose still on, of course.) She'd always ask the most awesome question: "Do we have to hurry?" And of course the answer was always "no."
I know I sound like my grandma when I say this but, c'mon people. Do we have to hurry? I think most of the time we hurry out of habit and not necessity in our house. I hear Luke or myself preface so many command with "hurry up and..." Why? Are we late? (Usually not. Have you met my husband?!?! It is virtually impossible to be late anywhere with this man since he will go to any length to get us up twelve hours before we are due to be anywhere. Yay. I love you babe.) I've actually started to hear my kids ask that question on a regular basis. "Are we late, mom?!" Such urgency and stress in their voices! Crap. I've taught them to look at a time device and freak out.
Can I unteach them this???? YES. I'm the proof. I used to be a stress machine!! I had forgotten the wise words of my grandmother and I'd work myself to the bone, faster and more efficient than anyone around me. If you need something done, give it to Alyssa. Isn't she already doing, like 50 other things? Yeah, who cares!! Pile it on, bro!! But then I started working for the three most relaxed, abstract, go-with-the-flow pastors on the planet. Seriously people we are talking chill pills in human form. I was wound tighter than a Nazarene at General Assembly. I was a mess! But slowly and painfully, working with these three guys, I remembered how to relax. Will this church service be perfect? Nope. Will we add things last minute to the order of service? Maybe. Will Pastor Rick allow for silence and space even though it means we end late? Yep. Will Jason decide to add a chorus or two to the last song even though there are not lyrics for that on the screen? Probably. Will Jesus still come meet us in a powerful way if we we focus on His Spirit calling us? Yep.... because if we're still enough to actually listen, He's always there.
I'm ready to unteach the crazy pace in Team Johnson's house this summer. It's gonna drive my poor husband nuts. And probably my type-A children. But it's for the greater good. I vow here and now on the internet to NOT put my kiddos in every camp, VBS and YMCA activity imaginable over summer break. I promise to leave Selah space for them to run around and get messy and be kids!! I promise to STOP THE MADNESS. I will not forget what my Grandma taught me and my Pastor Chill Pills re-taught me.
Do we have to hurry?
Nope.
