"What arts of dissimulation are those tempted to use who govern themselves by fleshly wisdom! and how happy are those who have not known these depths of Satan, but have their conversation in the world with simplicity and godly sincerity!" -Matthew Henry's Commentary on 2 Samuel 16
-----Confession: I looked up dissimulation, because I don't know ALL the words. Maybe you already know what it means. Good job. For the rest of us, basically it means "concealment of one's thoughts, feelings, or character." Also known as "faking it." So basically it's something I generally suck at. I've never been good at hiding how I really feel. Ask anyone I know, they'll tell you. Even when I try to hid me feelings, my face always gives me away. And right now, after reading that Mr. Henry considers it to be "fleshly wisdom" in the "depths of Satan" (Yikes) I am ever so thankful for that fact that it's something I suck at!! Sheesh!
In 2 Samuel, dissimulation was what Hushai was doing to Absalom, after Absalom tried to overthrow King David. Basically Hushai was pretending to be on Absalom's side when he was really on King David's side. He was kind of a spy, which I guess makes his dissimulation more acceptable, considering the circumstances, but it got me thinking about how much it sounds like either an episode of Alias or Glee. I can't decide which one. It's a fine line, really. (In other news, anyone who says the Bible is boring never read the Old Testament... Holy Soap Opera, Batman!!)
So, after much thought, here's my philosophy on dissimulation. It is taken from the great scholar, Meg Ryan, in the movie French Kiss...
"Happy=Smile; Sad=Frown; Use the corresponding face for the corresponding emotion!!"
( I know, I'm super intellectual.)
...But then there's my Grandma Eloise who always told us to "Say what you mean and mean what you say." That always sticks with me. And Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew to let our "Yes be yes and our No be no." So there's that.
Not everyone does this "being real" thing by nature, apparently. Many people are really good at dissimulation. I mean really good. Some of us are experts at faking it. We filter our selfies on Instagram and Snapchat. We post cute pictures of our dogs and kids on Facebook, even though we've had a terrible day. We smile when we're dying inside. We laugh at jokes when we're deeply offended. How much of this is actually dissimulation? Are we concealing who we really are?
Why do we deceive one another so much? Why do we pretend to be someone we are not? Sometimes it's not really intentional deception but just a knee-jerk reaction of protection against a threatening person or environment. But then the question begs... why do we regularly put ourselves in an environment where this is a necessary thing??? Why do we remain in a place where we cannot be accepted as we truly are??
We might say to ourselves, "My boss/parent/friend/teacher/pastor/sibling/whatever can't be trusted with who I really am so I just pretend to be someone else so he/she doesn't reject me." I mean, there are always going to be spaces where we aren't fully known and accepted. We can't live in a bubble. But in general, the places that we are spending most of our energy should hopefully be places where we can be ourselves, right?
So here's a question: How much do you dissimulate? Can you be yourself most of the time??? I hope so! If not: Booooooo. I've been there. It's soul-crushing to constantly be in a place where you feel like you have to dissimulate to be accepted. The truth is you are awesome. You are enough. And I know it's cliche, but I'm gonna say it anyway because it's Truth: God does NOT make mistakes. Your own, REAL, loving personality is needed. Right where you are. Right now. And if you're not accepted as you truly are with the people you spend most of your time and energy around, can I encourage you to earnestly seek God and ask Him if maybe it's time to go be yourself somewhere else. Somewhere you can be loved and appreciated for the fantastic person you are!
Something to think about :)
